Ok let’s be honest here. I’m in need of some hope and faith. To be very honest I just prayed to God over Kai that He would carry Kai on this journey and I wanted to give up all selfishness in wanting to keep him here on Earth because I do not want him to suffer and if He is to take him soon that He please do it peacefully. And the truth is, after this prayer and I guess giving Kai to God, I felt some hope. But I need your help. Kai is sleeping really peacefully right now – this is amazing. There is that verse that talks about faith as small as a mustard seed – and I have been struggling to have that these past days especially after yesterday’s diagnosis. So let’s hear it for faith, joy and hope! I want to believe, I really really do. Because I do know God can heal. I remembered this one video that I thought I’d share as good inspiration…. Kai thinks he’s hilarious and somewhere in his head he’s told himself THE best joke ever.

thank you for helping us have faith – you are being the Body of Christ to us and it is amazing.

and as I’m finishing this – Kai is awake and he is hungry and he got off the couch and took my hand so I could help me walk over to the refrigerator to show me what he wanted. He also stuck his finger in my ear to tickle me. These are good signs I think. 🙂